I'm sitting on my couch with the french doors open, getting some much needed fresh air. The dogs are both laying by the pool in the sun, smiling. Like I told Ivita today “I'm doing everything in my power to stay sane in what is temporarily an insane world.” I still believe the world is full of miracles — and I am definitely also sitting in the reality that there is a lot of anger and sadness in the world that needs healing at the moment, too.

The book I'm reading right now is Stillness is the Key by Ryan Holiday. In it, he tells stories about situations where successful and famous people (from JFK to professional athletes to Fred Rogers) slowed down in order to achieve great things. I'm finding the stories fascinating and inspiring. You might enjoy it, too. I bought it in print and I liked it so much I got it on Audible, too. However, I'm not a huge fan of his voice. So if you're thinking of getting it, first listen to the sample.

Speaking of stillness, yesterday I went on a silent walk with my husband (or as I refer to him Mr. Sexy). No we weren't fighting. Yes, we are together ALL the time so we talk, a lot. We were walking the dogs and I realized we both were silent. My instinct was to fill the silence, but instead I stayed in it for a little bit. Then I realized he was probably processing the rough news we got this week about someone we both love dearly.

Normally my husband listens to podcasts or audio books or he's looking at a screen reading something — so I think it was the first time that he had his OWN thoughts in his head rather than someone else's thoughts (since he got the news). Ouch right? After a bit he did say something and we discussed it a bit. But later I told him that I really enjoying our silent walk and would like to do it more. Silence of the mind can be a blessing.

The book “Stillness is the Key” keeps making me think about being the calm in the storm and one of my favorite quotes.

You can’t calm the storm, so stop trying.
What you can do is calm yourself. The storm will pass.
– Timber Hawkeye

Hugs and high fives.

Nicole

This has been the summer of home maintenance for me.

• Pool liner replaced. Check.
• Roof fixed. Check.
• Trees trimmed and cut prior to hurricane season. Check.
• A/c breaks in car and at the house and needs to be repaired. Check.
• Ceiling in bathroom from water leak repaired. Check.
• All baseboards replaced in living room, bathroom, and master bedroom (after water leak). Check.

I feel like lessons have been presenting themselves to me a lot lately through this experience.

For instance, after Hurricane Ivan in 2004, we needed a new pool liner. Our pool was filled with shingles and nails and branches and was not salvageable.

So, we found Dan. We both really liked Dan. He was the owner of the company and answered all of our questions. In fact, we liked him so much that we also used his company to do our pool maintenance for a few years.

I thought of him as almost a friend. I'd see him riding his bike and say to my hubby “that's Dan!”

Flash forward to 2019. We need a new pool liner. They last approximately 15 years and ours must have had a timer.

We didn't think twice. We just contacted Dan's company. I drove over there. I told them that they had my measurements on file, I chose a liner, and I paid half – approx $1800.

And then I waited.

And I waited.

And I waited.

I knew the process takes about 6 weeks, so I didn't start to get annoyed until after week 6 when we hadn't heard a peep.

• Was our liner ever ordered?
• Was it scheduled?
• Were they just going to show up one day while I'm laying out there in my swim suit with my white butt showing?
• Could I plan a pool party or would they show up in the middle of it?

There was zero communication.

So, we reached out and got a “you should be up soon”.

And then another week went by.

And we followed up again, and got another “you should be up soon”.

And I was, at this point, REALLY not loving this process.

Then, one day, we got a call saying “we'll be there today”. So, again, not great communication. We scrambled and got prepared.

Some workers showed up. They didn't communicate great either. We weren't clear on the process at all.

They installed the pool liner. They came back a few days later to check the water levels. We never saw Dan or heard from him or the company to ask how things were going.

We got an invoice. I went in and paid the balance on it (another $1800). And still no word from anyone.

Not a “thank you”. Not a note in the mail. Nothing.

So… if we are still at this house in 15 years, you can bet that Dan's competition will be getting our business. Even if we have to pay a little bit more.

A similar thing happened with our roofing company, but I won't go into details about that. Let's just say they went MIA, too. And we had no idea if or when they might show up. And this was way after the “we'll have it done in 2 weeks” window.

Why am I sharing this story today?

Not so complain so much, but just to show the importance of communication.

If customers are left to wonder “Did my order go through?” or “Is this a scam?” or ‘Do they even care about me?” then your help desk will get the brunt of the frustration. And, if their cries to the help desk go into a void, then in this day and age, your customer will go to social media.

I was excited to order my new pool liner. I was excited about the experience. Now, not so much.

It's hard to earn back that excitement they felt while they were placing their order. And it's hard to earn back that trust.

What can you do to keep your customers happy?

1. Communicate clearly the product they are buying so get exactly what they paid for. You'd be amazed how often I want to buy a course and I can't even tell from the sales page if it's a video, audio, or written training. A confused mind does nothing. Or if they buy, and are confused, they aren't getting what they thought they were buying in the first place.

2. Clearly explain the process that will happen during and after their order. Where will their download be? Where should they look?

3. Set expectations. If your shopping cart will send the download info and it may take up to 30 minutes, let them know that up front so they aren't frustratedly clicking “check mail” wondering if their download got lost.

4. Say “thank you” and mean it. Without our customers, we're out of business.

5. Make it easy to contact support. Both during office hours and after office hours. Don't make them jump through hoops. Don't make them feel like their time was wasted.

6. Clearly have a link on every page of your site that takes customers to their members' area and to support. You'd be surprised how often I go to sites to log in and can't find it. Yes, I have it in last pass for most sites, but that's just an extra hoop. Make it easy for people to consume the material they buy from you so they'll get results and go from being a customer to a fan!

If you need some help with what to say to your customers after they buy, you might like these:

• Done-for-You Follow-up Emails for Your New Leads. (And how to structure your follow-up.)

If you're a contractor. This is equally important. 

Our policy at CoachGlue.com with our team is do not leave us guessing. If we ask for something to be done and do not get a message that “this is done”, then we assume it is not.

Also, in both of my basecamp accounts, the person who does the work is not allowed to mark it as done. They have to say it's done. Then someone else checks it. And then we mark it done.

We've had to let good workers go who were doing the work but not communicating because it causes stress, chaos, and confusion.

So, keep your clients in the loop. Let them know when things are done. Let them know if you're going to be late. Otherwise, it's up to them to guess and that's not, as you can see in my earlier example, how you keep a client happy.

This is also super important when dealing with affiliates and JV partners. 

A confused affiliate does nothing.

Make sure they have the information they need to promote.

And always, always make sure they know they are appreciated.

This comes back to the Love Languages. Give them words of praise, public shout outs, gifts when appropriate, and genuinely love and appreciate them. They'll KNOW if you do.

With hugs and high fives,

Nicole Dean and Lemur

Today I sent one of my smart coaching clients this…

Yes. Our brains are meant for one purpose. To keep us safe.

Anything that makes our bodies feel in danger…

EVEN the fear of something completely physically safe like writing a blog post or sending a mailing… our minds will try to divert us.

You open that book draft you've been working on and all of a sudden…
“I’m hungry.”
“I’m thirsty”
“I need to go to the bathroom”
“I wonder what the dogs are up to”
“Did I ever confirm that hair appointment?”

This is all an effort to get us to avoid the perceived danger.

When we listen to the fear, we don't do the things we need to do to grow.

Heck, our brains will even try to protect us from the fear of embarrassment.

“I can't go to the gym until I lose some more weight. Everyone will stare at me.”

“I can't post this even thought I want to… What if I get haters?”

I watched my kids battle this.

Me: “Sit down with me and do your handwriting.”

Boy child: “I'm hungry.”

To me, the awareness of that is huge.

Personally it gives me power, because I can point at my reaction and go “ok, brain. I know you love me and you're trying to keep me safe. But I also know that I need to do this thing. So let's work together to do it.”

I also make sure that I'm telling my body that I AM safe.

By breathing. Slow. Steady.

Because when we are scared, we hold our breath.

And, conversely when we hold our breath, our bodies think we are in danger.

So, just by consciously breathing through the things we do on a daily basis (and might potentially avoid), we can be more productive.

Try it out. Take a few slow breaths right now. Feels good, right?

So, what are you avoiding doing today? Is it a fear-based avoidance?

Perhaps “I know that I should finish creating this training, but… I'll post on social media a few times. That's still working, right?”

Our brains are slippery. They think they're helping. And they do keep us alive. “GO BRAINS!” But they can also stand in the way of achieving the things that are out of our comfort zone.

Just some food for thought.

Hugs and high fives,

Nicole Dean

PS. If you'd like some done-for-you content about keeping your brain healthy and happy, grab this package:

Because my business is such an extension of me, the two of us can ebb and flow together.

When I'm up, my business is up. I have more energy and creativity and focus and fun.

When I'm down, my business is down.

You get me? That is why I protect my mindset with my everything. Because my mindset (and mental health) is directly correlated to my ability to provide for my family, and to take care of myself.

How do I do this?

• I surround myself with awesome, loving, warm people as much as I possibly can.
• I feel my brain good stuff. (Speaking of which, right now, I am gobbling up the Buddhist Bootcamp podcast.)
• I meditate (here are two articles I've written about it: Entrepreneurs who Meditate | Best Resources for Meditation) and do yoga and eat healthy foods.
• I stay away from negative people as much as possible.
• I question my every reaction to see what it's gaining me, if anything, and how I can reframe my thoughts.
• And I work on ME. I don't just invest in marketing courses and the latest business strategies. I invest in ME. Becoming the strongest version of me possible. (And I hope you do the same.)
• I also do these 20+ things to stay on top of my anxiety.

One person who has always challenged me to be the Awesomest Nik possible throughout the years, is Kelly McCausey.

She's my business partner in Beachpreneurs. She's my travel buddy. And she has loved me fiercely over the years, even when I haven't even liked myself.

She came to me the other day with an idea that she was really excited about and asked for my feedback. I read the sales page and told her I adored the idea.

Here's what she's doing.

She's created a fun program where she's sending a little encouraging note in the mail every month that you'll receive in your mailbox, along with an audio that will boost you even more.

This is specific to entrepreneurs … those of us who doubt ourselves on a minute by minute basis.

Whether you need an occasional pick-me up or reminder that what you're doing matters, or you just want a little love every month, I do think you should check this out.

Get your mindset notes right here.

10% of every purchase will go to a fund that supports women in some way. The organization will be collectively chosen quarterly.

I'll be back with more soon!

Warmly and with big hugs,

Nicole

Picture this…

You're driving down the road in a car and you're headed towards an idea, a goal, or something awesome that you want.

Maybe you want to do a webinar, or write a book, or attend an event.

You're excited about it!

But then — you hear the voice of fear in your head and it can stop you in your tracks.

What if…

What if fear (that voice) was just an unruly, overly tired child sitting in the backseat? He (or she) is kicking and whining a little bit, trying to get your attention.

Maybe he's trying to manipulate you and he is definitely trying to get control of the situation. To do what HE wants.

But you know he's not in control.

You are.

So you tell him to simmer down and you keep driving.

What you don't do is pull over and give him the freaking keys to the car, right?

Don't give fear power over you. Over your success. Over your future. Over your happiness.

Trust me. I've done it enough for both of us. And I want more for both of us.

Fear is a good thing… if we're being chased by a bear. But when we're trying to get sh*t done, then we've got to realize we are not in harms way when we are following our dreams and we can (and should) proceed.

So the next time that little stinker in the back seat tries to take control, remember where you're headed and why. And who is in control.

Take a deep breath and keep driving.

You're worth it.

Stay tuned for more awesome stuff.

Hugs and high fives,

Nicole Dean

PS. Talk to me. What do you want to accomplish and what's holding you back?

Is picturing your fears as a child helping you to ignore them? Or what do you do when fear stops you?

Do you ever feel that way? Just a general feeling of being small and powerless and unworthy. It comes around at times, usually when I'm trying new things and I run into obstacles – as we all do.

I'll share a bit more about that in a minute, but first, I wanted to share a great blog post by my friend, Cindy Bidar that you can refer to when you're thinking “What on earth do I have to say?”

Blog Post: 49 Ideas to Mail Your Lists Today
(Opens in a new tab so it won't interrupt your reading.)

Getting back to feeling puny.

I was feeling like crawling back into bed. But then I had great coaching calls and emails with three of my awesome coaching clients this week and I was celebrating watching them soar which was a huge boost.

And then I heard the perfect thing on my “book a day” audio today,

It reminded me that the resistance is frequently a sign of great things to come if I just LEAN into it and keep creating. So here I am, now, writing to you.

So here I am, now, writing to you.

The audio I listened to was the Philosopher's Notes of “The Icarus Deception” by Seth Godin (as summarized by Brian Johnson).

You can listen to the Notes of the book here. Or see it on Amazon here.

When reading this quote from Seth's book about resistance, think of your business as your art. <3

“Once I realized the cold sweat, the palpitations, the wily stalling, the insecurity, and the fear were part of making art, I was able to relax into my work. It’s not even a cease-fire any longer. It’s a partnership, not a war.

When the resistance shows up, I know that I’m winning. Not my fight against it, but my fight to make art. …

The resistance is a symptom that you’re on the right track. The resistance is not something to be avoided; it’s something to seek out.

That’s the single most important sentence in this book.

The artist seeks out the feeling of the resistance and then tries to maximize it.” – Seth Godin

Do you ever have cold sweats, doubts, palpitations?

Talk to me in the comments.

What do you do to overcome them and do the things that you're resisting?

Stay tuned for more awesome stuff.

Hugs and high fives,

Nicole Dean

PS. I freaking love shares and comments. If you know someone who feels puny on occasion, send this their way. And if you do, please comment what you do to overcome it. Big hugs. Thanks for reading!!!

I shared the WHY I do what I do behind my successful contests (specifically my most recent affiliate contest) and gave important points on where to follow what I do and when not to.

I've talked a lot about the benefits of going to live events like this one, but I don't know if I've ever shared specifics. All I can tell you is that I come back a different / better version of myself after each one.

Sidenote: Ladies, do consider coming to Beach Cruise, Beach Camp, or Beach House this spring. <3

So HOW am I different in general?

• Sometimes I learn a new marketing trick that I can instantly implement.
• Sometimes I learn a business shortcut or strategy.
• Sometimes I discover a speaking strategy from watching the speakers connect and impact the audience and I soak that up.
• Sometimes I have an adventure inside or outside of the event that opens my eyes or just brings me joy and makes me thankful to be alive.
• Sometimes I learn how to be a healthier, happier, more impactful human being on this earth.
• Heck, on a few trips, I discovered brilliant nuggets and met amazing people at the airport.

So after unpacking (both literally and figuratively), here are just a few ways this event changed me.

1. My Heart Grew Two Sizes that Day.

I have known Kelly McCausey since 2004 when her community crowned me “Work at Home Mom of the Year”. Yes, I actually got a tiara.

I wanted to get closer to her, but I was afraid to join her community at that time, because we were in direct competition. I thought she'd think I was in there to rip her off.

I learned instantly that Kelly saw us as two women who both wanted to make an impact and she KNEW that we could make a bigger impact and change the world together so much better than we could apart (or with me hiding).

She's drawn me out of my shell in a million ways since then, as my first mentor and now as one of my best friends on earth. And she is my business partner and we make magic together at Beachpreneurs.

AND she continues to love on me and inspire me in new and surprising ways all the time. And yes, I'm tearing up a little. She's just that special to me.

Kelly had decided to participate in St. Baldricks, which is an organization that raises money to fund childhood cancer research. You take a stand and raise funds and then shave your head on a certain date. She had done it one time before so I was happy to see her do it again. (Click the link and donate!)

What I did NOT track at the time was that she was going to shave her head AT HER OWN EVENT!!! My ego could not even process that.

So, as the time drew near, I started to get nervous for her on her behalf. I knew she was fine, but I was being challenged by her strength and bravery to face my own stuff.

When it was time, she turned to me and said “Will you do it, please?”

I literally about lost it. I said “yes”, of course and then started thinking of how to do this in the most gentle way possible.

But because this isn't about me. It's about Kelly and the kids, I will just show you my friend being brave and being impactful and being incredibly FREAKING awesome.

And sure enough, he said that if we could double the amount donated, he would also participate.

And we did. And he did.

2. Awareness of My Own Impact.

A few years back,  I went to Radical Leadership (as have most of my closest friends) at the invitation of my smart, joy-filled, beautiful friend, Therese Sparkins (formerly known as Therese Sparby).

It is the gift that keeps on giving. I soaked it all up back then, as the person I was. And, I still keep growing from it today as I evolve, which never ceases to amaze me.

One of the things that Therese taught me at RL is about having an awareness of my impact and asking myself “Is this the impact that I want to be having in this moment?”

And then determining without judgement either “yes” or “no”. It's not an opportunity to shame myself, but rather a moment of saying “if not, why not, and what do I want to do about it?”

There were two instances this weekend where my answer was “Nope”. So I pivoted. And I was so glad that I did.

And yes, I'll share them both. <3

After the head shaving, Kelly planned a wig party. I brought three wigs (in case anyone needed one).

I went to put mine on, and struggled, and then Therese put hers on and she was radiant… just radiant. She helped me put mine on and I felt … not.

So my first instinct was to just say “screw it” and take it off and go downstairs.

And, I stopped. “Nik, is that the impact you really want to have in this moment in time?”

Sigh…

“Nope.”

So I swallowed my ego and shifted. I put some powder on, pivoted my attitude to one of gratitude and fun, and slapped on some lipstick and headed downstairs with Therese.

And this happened.

And this, too!

And this!

After the wig party we headed upstairs to the conference room where the all awesome Maruxa Murphy was going to play DJ to a dance party.

And this was the second impact check.

I didn't dance. I don't know why I didn't dance. I didn't feel cute or confident. I thought I would just watch and enjoy my friends.

After awhile, I just felt myself sitting there and I thought “Is this really how I want to remember tonight? Is this the impact I want to be having for myself and for others?”

And, I said to myself “nope”.

Right at that moment, one of the attendees grabbed a beach ball off the Beachpreneurs table and started an impromptu game of volleyball in the conference room.

I joined in.

And I had FUN. Genuine JOY. Total elation.

Here I am playing with the brilliant Jena Rodriguez (in our wigs).

My knees are still a bit bruised from diving for the ball on a concrete floor, but they make me smile. #allinbaby

I could have continued to sit. Worried about my stupid shirt that kept flying up and whether I looked flabby. Or a number of other insecurities. And that would have been fine. The night would have gone on.

But I didn't. And I'm glad.

3. Knowing What I Want and Not Disappointing Myself.

If you've been here for half a second, you know that my favorites things are adventure and fresh air. (Sushi is up there, but if I had to lose one, I'd be saying “sayonara sushi”.)

I knew I wanted an adventure on this trip. I love Kelly's events, but she and I have talked a lot about this and she knows that I crave doing something fun and memorable outside of the hotel when I'm visiting a city.

She graciously asks for a 66% attendance from speakers and 100% heart and focus during those times we are in attendance. That's totally fair. When I'm there, I'm there in heart and soul as if it were my own event. In fact, some attendees think we partner on EP.

The weather looked stinky on the forecast, so I was looking at things to do inside.

I started to feel like it just wasn't going to happen, and I was getting sad. I looked at the conference schedule and couldn't see a time where I could sneak out with a few people without negatively impacting the event in some way.

I was starting to tell myself “You are an introvert. You aren't the party planner! What are you even trying to do here?”

I knew it was BS. But that didn't matter.

I was just about to give up when I decided that wasn't an option. Yes, I could go home without an adventure.

But as Jim Rohn says “regret weighs tons.” (The full quote, if you're curious, is “We must all suffer from one of two pains: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret. The difference is discipline weighs ounces while regret weighs tons.”)

Or also said by one of my favorite poets…

So I got a small group together to go to an Escape Room. And Kelly happily wiggled the schedule a bit so that it would work out without negatively impacting the speakers and their offers.

Easy peasy. Adventure planned.

I wasn't sure if I'd like it but I loved it so much.

And we escaped the room with 6 minutes to spare! Woo!

In addition to Paul and Therese (still wearing that wig! lol.), you may recognize Cindy Bidar, Rayven Monique, and Natalie Collins, too!

Go team!!!

The best part to me was watching my friends have fun. And the kids. Because kids. <3

4. Sitting in My Own Comfort Zone vs. Stepping Out.

So, it was time to go home. I was at the airport and my lower back started to hurt. This happens. It's been happening off and on since 2015. Nothing new.

I was wearing comfortable clothes, so I got on the floor on the side of the waiting area and I did some yoga.

Did I feel a bit silly? Yes. Did I get some weird looks? Yes.

But I knew Therese (my friend I mentioned before) wore her rainbow colored wig HOME through airport security and everything. She gives zero craps about what anyone thinks about things like that.

So, get over it, Dean.

Once again, I decided that I really didn't give a crap if I got weird looks. And I zoned out and enjoyed myself.

Because

1. yoga

2. I am a grown-ass woman who can do what I want without worrying about peer pressure.

3. why not?

So this happened.

5. The Power of Invitation.

The theme in all of this is that there is such power in putting out the invitation by being the authentic, loving version of YOU.

Kelly and Paul inspired me to play bigger and be braver.

Maruxa and the ladies dancing inspired me to get over myself.

Therese in all her rainbow glory and joy and true unconditional love inspired me to step into it, too.

My friends lighting up over the invite to the Escape Room invited me to be a leader.

Over and over again this weekend, I felt drawn by JOY and people just BEING who they are.

I felt inspired to share and see if I could do a little of the same.

I hope you've enjoyed this peek into my growth.

I would love to hear your thoughts about any / all of it. Seriously, I appreciate shares and I adore comments. Don't be shy.

With love,

Nicole Dean

PS. It's funny. People go to marketing and business events like Exposure and Profits or Beachpreneurs with the goal to learn marketing strategies and tactics.

That's great. But where I find real growth is usually elsewhere, as per the examples above.

Yes, I soak up delicious business goodness, but the BIGGER, more impactful growth that will move me past roadblocks is usually found elsewhere for me. So go in with the goal to just observe and be open to everything awesome. And report back what magic happens for you.

There was a story in there that impacted me and I wanted to share it with you.

The Fun Challenge.

In the book, there's a fictional story of a young man whose great-uncle (an inventor) passed away. The great-uncle had recently invented a fun-meter that you wear on your wrist, much like a Fitbit, only it measures fun instead of steps. The fun gets rated on a scale of 1-10.

A one meant you were “down in the dumps” and ten meant “happy as can be”.

Although the young man didn't know the wealthy uncle well, he was asked to come to the reading of the will. He was shocked to find out that he was awarded $100 million dollars … if he could pass a test.

The young man would have to wear the fun-meter every day for a year. The watch's data would be sent to the estate's office each day.

If, at the end of the year, the young man had reached a high of at least a 7 at some point every single day for the entire year, he would be awarded the $100 million dollars. If not, he got nothing.

I've told several friends this story and asked what they would do on their first day.

And to me “FUN” can be replaced with “JOY” or general happiness.

So what would bring you joy?

The results were very interesting.

One person, who I will not name, said “I would go bowling”. Now this person has the time and resources to go bowling and, in fact, there is a bowling alley only a few miles from our (uhhh… I mean HIS) house. This man has only bowled a handful of times since we were … I mean HE was married 23 years ago. So, WHY on earth isn't he going bowling? I mean, even stopping by for a game here and there after work? It doesn't have to be a big commitment or a big deal. He can just grab his smokin' hot wife and take her out bowling once in awhile.

Another friend of mine said said “I'd go fishing”. I asked “What's stopping you?” He said “Honestly, nothing!” I hope he goes fishing.

Now obviously we can't just have fun all of the time and ignore work. But really, for me a 7 on a joy scale would be jumping in the pool for a bit with my sexy husband, going on a bike ride, playing a game with my son, going to see my daughter in a show, or going to the park and swinging a bit.

Cheap. Easy. Quick. And, yes, I do all of those things, but I have not been mindful enough to make them a daily habit like brushing my teeth.

The Story of the “Poor” Fisherman.

It reminds me of the story of the executive and the fisherman. (I've googled and googled and can't find attribution so someone please help me to attribute this to the right person). I may ALSO be getting this story totally wrong, but here's how I remember it as I heard it years ago.

An executive sees a poor fisherman standing on the bank, fishing in the sunshine. The executive walks up to the fisherman and strikes up a conversation. He asks why the man is not working. The fisherman says that he is happy fishing and has all that he needs.

The executive tries to inspire the fisherman and says that if the fisherman works hard for many decades, he could be wealthy some day. The fisherman again says that he has all that he needs and is happy.

The executive says with pride “Well someday I will be wealthy.”

The fisherman asks “What will you do when you are wealthy?”

The executive stop and states with a little laugh “I will go fishing”.

The fisherman replies as they laugh together “You don't need to be wealthy to do that!”

My Challenge to You.

So on this beautiful day, going into the weekend, I challenge you to commit to doing something every day to reach a 7 in fun (or joy or happiness) that day. Make a plan to do so. It can be cheap, easy, and fast if you're short on time.

• Go blow bubbles with your kids.
• Bake some cookies.
• Sing show tunes in the car.
• Climb a tree.
• Go on a walk along the waterfront.
• Get an ice cream cone.
• Try something new.
• Surprise someone.
• Snuggle puppies, humans, kittens.
• Play. Laugh. Love. LIVE.

I appreciate shares and I adore comments! Please share your thoughts.

With much appreciation.

Warmly,
Nicole

If you'd like to read about that, you can find that right here

What BS Rules are Keeping You From the Best Experiences of Your Life?

(Please share if you like it!)

Today, I want to share something else fun with you. It's about another BS Rule that I discovered to be untrue.

I've always loved to read, but I had made up this rule that it took too much time to either read or listen to books. Hours that I didn't have (at least not without sacrificing something else – health/exercise, family time, business stuff). Sure I would sneak in audible books on car rides and read while waiting places, but I sure wasn't absorbing as much good stuff as I wanted to. And frankly audible books, while awesome, are SO long. (Call me Miss Patience.)

Well, I just discovered a way that I will be able to “read” 180 books before the end of the year (one per day) without adding any extra time, and I invite you to join me.

I've already consumed 6 books in the last 6 days.

Optimize with Brian Johnson has created “Philosopher's Notes” versions of over 600 books that you've been drooling over.

These are basically each a 20 minute summary of the key points in each book, along with a pdf that has the same notes.

And you can listen to tons of books for free right here.

What I love about them is that he ties in related themes from other books that he's done, which is giving me a growing list of authors and books I want to listen to over there, and proof that the concepts are true, because he's telling me about other authors who have proven the same thing. This reinforcement is really interesting.

My plan (and I invite you to join me) is to listen to at least one book each day WHILE doing something else that I'd already be doing.

And do this every day for the rest of the year.

I plan to listen to books while

• Cleaning the house
• Taking a shower or bath
• Doing yoga / stretching (Yes, I know part of the beauty of yoga is the silence. I like to listen to something smart sometimes, too.)
• Going on a walk
• Driving somewhere
• Lifting some weights at home
• Folding laundry

You get the picture.

Imagine how amazing you'd feel about yourself if you committed to doing this with me.

Like I said, I've already listened six books in six days. And it was easy.

• One while cleaning my office.
• One in the shower.
• One while taking a mental break from writing.
• One while driving.
• One while putting away laundry.
• One while sorting a junk drawer.

Leverage, my friends. Leverage. THIS is leverage.

Leverage your time. Leverage other people's work and smarts in a good way.

And watch your business grow.

Here's what I did and I invite you to join me.

Sign up here to listen to all of the books for free on this page.

1. I signed up for the coaching program option so I'd have a commitment for the rest of the year.

(You can see the coaching option here, but do sign up for the free books first. I just want to make sure you'll love it before you join.)  

2. I spent about 20 minutes going through the different categories of books and favoriting those that looked interesting to me. That way, each day, I can just go there and choose one to “read” without having to think too hard.

Update: This is NOT necessary. I'm learning about all kinds of books from the Notes themselves that I want to soak up. The pdfs have all kinds of recommendations to other books to listen to. All are included in the membership.

3. I started listening. You can mark the books as complete when you're done so you have a growing list of books that you have yet to listen to.

4. After listening to the book summary, each day, I open the accompanying pdf from the PREVIOUS day and skim it to make sure I understood everything fully and didn't zone out. This gives me a different modality of learning, as well, which I like. And it deepens the material as we know there's a “forgetting period” after we learn something if it isn't touched again.

If I see that a bunch of you are interested in this (based on who signs up), I may create a FB account or a blog post series or a daily “here's what I *read* today” or something fun.

I'm anticipating questions.

You may be thinking…

Q: “I listen to podcasts and they are free. How is this different?”

A: I think about all of the effort and research and smarts that goes into writing a book versus how anyone can pick up a mic and just start talking. About anything in their heads.

Me? I'd rather focus on getting the solid stuff. Sure, I listen to an occasional podcast. Books are where it's at for this girl. I consider listening to most podcasts to be a colossal waste of my time. So when I do listen, it's mostly for fun.

Q: Do you really get the whole experience of reading the book?

A: No, you do not get the whole experience of reading the entire book. You get the key points. With this, I'm getting a lot of new info, plus I feel like I'm being reminded of a lot of things that I have not been making a priority for myself. It's kind of how what you need shows up when you need it. I'm getting that feeling.

For me, the twenty minute summary is enough to provide me with three valuable options when I finish a book “note”:

1. I get what I need and am super thankful that I listened to the Notes. I apply what I've learned and move on. OR….
2. I decide it's not the right book for me (and am thankful that I didn't just take hours of my life to figure that out). OR…
3. I love the material but it was only a part of the story. I want more so I choose to buy the book (or go check out the authors' other books/follow them on social media/sign up for their lists, etc).

Q: Is this cheating the authors?

A: Actually because you do not get the whole experience of reading the book, it's very tempting to go and buy your favorites (or follow the authors on FB and Twitter – which you can do from inside your account or go find them on YouTube or sign up for their lists.) This is probably why some of the authors give Brian advanced copies of their books prior to publishing them…

Personally I am finding that there are a few books that I still do want to actually read after listening to the notes. And, if you look at the testimonials, many are from the authors themselves, so I believe this is a win-win-win. A win for Optimize, a win for the authors, and a win for us!

Here's the link again. Go get you your free book summaries! 

What are some other “rules' that we are following that are NOT serving us, I wonder?

Got questions, please comment. What are you currently reading that you love?

Stay tuned. We'll talk about some more.

With hugs and high fives,

Nicole Dean

PS. If you're curious, here are a few quotes from a few of the books I've listened to at Optimize the last few days. Good stuff.

From “Letters from a Stoic” (on Creating what's in your Heart for a Life of Purpose)

“Everything – a horse, a vine – is created for some duty… For what task, then, were you yourself created? A man’s true delight is to do the things he was made for.” – Marcus Aurelius

 

“Musicians must make music, artists must paint, poets must write if they are to be ultimately at peace with themselves. What human beings can be, they must be. They must be true to their own nature. This need we may call self-actualization… It refers to man’s desire for self-fulfillment, namely to the tendency for him to become actually in what he is potentially: to become everything one is capable of becoming.” – Maslow

On not giving up:

Picasso created nearly 100 masterpieces in his lifetime. But what most people don’t know is that he created a total of more than 50,000 works of art.

“Your morning sets the stage for the rest of your day. That doesn’t mean that you need to get up early: it does mean you should use your morning to do what’s most important to you.”
~ Benjamin Spall and Michael Xander from Morning Routine (see it on Optimize | see it on Amazon )

And, I soooo love. It gives me goosebumps.

Once you’ve mastered the code in this book, your biggest challenge will be dreaming bigger dreams! That’s right: Once you’ve tasted success and gained the confidence of making a dream come true, a funny things happens: You get addicted to making dreams come true. And as each dream gets a little bigger and a little scarier, you get stronger, smarter, and better at making them come true. And isn’t that what life is all about? Live your dreams!”

– Alden Mills from Be Unstoppable (see it on Optimize | see it on Amazon )

Self-Theories by Carol Dweck –

The hallmark of successful individuals is that they love learning, they seek challenges, they value effort, and they persist in the face of obstacles. – Carol Dweck

I'm working on this one…

“Remember that one of the guiding principles of wealth creation is not to worry. And remember,
too, that the best way not to worry is to have a project you are engaged in. Without a project, you
descend into worry. Your project becomes worrying. Your mind has to spin somewhere, and if
it can’t click and lock its gear’s teeth into a creative project it will look outward and worry about
other people and the world at large.”

~ Steve Chandler from Wealth Warrior (see it on Optimize | see it on Amazon )

As an introvert (and a “fresh air” kind of girl), I really had ZERO desire to go to NYC. But, I have a Broadway-loving daughter and I promised her we would go for her 16th birthday.

She's turning 17 in September so it was time to as we say either poop or get off the pot.

So I pooped. lol.

I fully intended to not like NYC. The noise, the crowds, the concrete.

And it was all because I had made up some BS rules about NYC and about ME that were not even a bit founded in truth.

I'd been doing some training by Vishen Lakhani from MindValley about what he calls Brules (his term for BS rules) and I'm working with Belanie Dishong from Live at Choice. So I'd been watching for these BS Rules to show up (so that I can SMITE them)  in all areas of my life. I had a feeling this “I won't like NYC” just might end up being another one of them.

So, not one to be a party pooper, I made the decision to go as if I loved it and embrace the adventure (even though I was secretly still dreading it a bit).

And, wouldn't you know it, but I FREAKING LOVED IT. Like I could easily live summers there.

I loved everything about Manhattan except for the obvious shortage of public restrooms. (If you've been, you know that there are times you will buy a banana or a Starbucks just to be able to use a restroom. But of course, buying a Starbucks just puts you in the same predicament an hour or two later. lol.)

• I loved the noise.
• I loved the energy and the people.
• I loved the food.
• I loved the shows.
• I loved the culture.
• I loved seeing iconic buildings.
• I loved the tall buildings. The 70 elevator ride up the Top of the Rock gave us a beautiful fresh air view of Central Park, the Empire State Building, the Statue of Liberty… so gorgeous.
• I loved watching my daughter and husband fall in love with New York City.
• I loved it all.

So the RULES that were in fact BS included….

• I am an introvert and introverts hate crowds.
• Cities are not for me. They are scary, dirty, yucky, and confusing.
• I will feel out of place in New York City.

I wanted to share my experience here, because of two reasons.

1. I could have let BS rules in my head ruin what was a life-changing trip.

2. I am curious about how many other BS rules I have running that are keeping me from magic.

3. I wanted to ask you to be curious, too!

I invite you to question the stories in your head. I sure am.

I'm very excited to see what other BS rules (ie chains, binds, and blockages) that I can blast out of existence.

And… I invite you to travel. Whether a small trip or a large one, I come back changed from every trip I take. I can't imagine if I had chosen not to go because of some crap I made up. It's heartbreaking to think of missing what I just experienced. Please. Don't Think. Just Go.

For instance, it is heartbreaking to think that I may have missed ALL of this… because of rules that I made up.

A quick recap of just a few of the things that I am thankful for having been able to experience….

Oh my goodness, the Statue of Liberty is beautiful!!! And.. #freshair #boathairdontcare

I never realized that she's walking. That touched me, deeply. I always had it in my head that she was standing still – but she is a woman ON a mission, heading to shore. #danggirl

Mastering the Subway … after a Few Snafus. #theyleftmebehind #adventure #lovemyfamily #theyfoundme

We spent a quiet few moments with Alexander and Eliza. #hamilton

Dinosaur butt. (Because I'm secretly still 10 years old.) And walking down to where they filmed Star Talk (my husband is a fan.)

I got to see amazing shows… 
Spongebob Squarepants the Musical with my favorite Bean #bestdayever

Watching my sweet girl meet awesome hard-working actors from the shows she's dreamed of seeing.

And a surprise date with my hubby to see “Escape to Margaritaville” that was quite magical, as well. I am so glad we got to see it as it was the last few days it was on Broadway. Apparently Jimmy Buffett was there a few days prior to see his show one last time. #whatwouldjimmybuffettdo

Let's Chat!

Have you faced a situation like this where you discovered your assumptions were totally false and holding you back? I would love to hear all about it.

Or maybe you want to tell me about your favorite things to do in New York City for my next trip?

As always, if you liked this post, I so appreciate shares and I adore comments! <3

I'll be back with all kinds of goodness soon.

Hugs and high fives,

Nicole Dean

PS. If you've been holding back on going to events because of some BS rules like “they won't like me” or “it'll be a pitch fest” or “I can't travel alone” then I invite you to the following events where the people are warm and the learning is smart.

If you are looking for a fun adventure, this is my upcoming agenda…

August 2018… Exposure and Profit (Atlanta, Georgia)

Learn More here: http://www.exposureandprofit.com/nicoledean

I'm speaking about Community Building with Affiliates.

January 2019… Ladies Only Beach Cruise (Port Canaveral, Florida to Bahamas)

Learn More here: http://cruise.beachpreneurs.com/

If you've always thought cruising would be fun, but you've made up excuses not to go, it's time to throw those BS Rules out the door!

March 2019… Ladies Only Beach House Mastermind (Pensacola Beach, Florida)

Learn More here: http://www.beachpreneurs.com/

April 2019… Ladies Only Beach Camp (Daytona Beach, Florida)

Learn More here: http://invite.beachpreneurs.com/

It's guaranteed to be fun and smart and general awesomeness – and you will come back a slightly different person. I always do. I hope to see you there!